Space Cadet

A lot has gone on since my last post here.

I was able to pick up and start taking the Lyrica on Thursday night. It was 25mg x3 daily. I felt nothing from it, which is unsurprising because it was a very low starting dose & my doctor said the “therapeutic dose” is usually 300mg a day or more. Lyrica is technically an anti-convolsent medication but can be used off-label to treat anxiety. I cried at brunch because Muse was grumpy when I woke him up (I woke him up because I was extra anxious and needed someone to be awake with me) so I felt guilty & I was overwhelmed by being in a restaurant, even with Muse there. I texted my doctor on Sunday and basically said “No side effects yet but I’m feeling pretty desperate & I am kind of driving Muse up a wall. Is it too soon to titrate the dose up a bit?”

He told me to bump it up to 50mg 3x a day. The morning dose went fine but then about an hour after the afternoon dose I felt STONED. It was almost exactly like the feeling I used to get when I would occasionally smoke weed before weed started giving me anxiety attacks (so no more weed for me). This part was actually kind of fun. Luckily, Muse always found me amusing when I was high. But the trouble was I was really out of it & confused to the point where Muse & I were worried about me being alone on Monday while he was at work. So we called my doctor (eek bothering your psychiatrist twice on a Sunday, not good form… but we didn’t know what else to do) & he said take 50mg in the afternoon and 25mg the rest of the time. Okay, cool, I like when someone as smart as he is tells me what to do. Genuinely. I actually do. I adore my psychiatrist and trust him more than any man besides Muse.

On Sunday night I noticed something weird going on with my right breast. It was a mix of a rash & a lump. Muse spent a lot of time reassuring me it wasn’t cancer because I am me.

On Monday I got a call from my endocrinologist saying I do in fact have Hashimoto’s Disease (low thyroid, probably eventually no working thyroid like my mother). Not a big blow – take a pill first thing in the morning then don’t eat or drink anything for 30 minutes and it solves it. I’ve lived with chronic illnesses since I was 2 years old so adding one more pill to my daily life didn’t feel like a big deal. She told me she was going to start me on an extra low dose because it can cause anxiety and she already knows I am struggling with that. My dose is literally 0.025mg every morning – TINY.

On Monday night Muse saw how big the whatever it was on my breast had gotten (it had approximately doubled in size between 7am and 5pm) so we decided to go the ER. The nurse practitioner diagnosed it as mastits and everyone kept asking me if I am breastfeeding (I have no children) because apparently it’s a thing that almost never happens to women who are not breastfeeding. I made many jokes about how my maternal instincts towards The Big Dog & The Little Dog must be getting out of control. She prescribed me an antibiotic and sent us on our way.

On Tuesday morning (today) I took my new synthroid, waited 30 minutes, then had my morning coffee and took my other morning pills (antibiotics, vitamins, lyrica & celexa). This was around 4-4:30am because Muse & I went to bed really early last night so I woke up before the sun. By about 6am I was vomiting up last night’s dinner and was so dizzy I could hardly keep my own head upright. It passed & I felt better again.

I made calls I needed to make, did a few artist things, got ready for the day then went to meet my new friend JL for some exposure therapy/social time/shopping. While I was driving to meet JL I became incredibly dizzy again. I pulled into a parking lot and called her. She understood, she’s been there. We left my car in the lot, I started feeling better again and we dropped clothes off at the charity together because we’re both a little sad for different reasons about donating the things we are donating.

We had been planning on doing some shopping, or at least looking around some stores, but then it was 2:00 and it was time for me to take my Lyrica again. Because she is the best, JL followed me home in her truck to make sure I got there safely. I did. She said to call or text her anytime and that we can go out again whenever I’m feeling up to it. I really am so excited about this new friend I’ve made. She’s my first friend in Montgomery (we moved here on May 13th) and we have so much in common.

Anyway, now I am at home, typing this, having taken my Lyrica about an hour ago, waiting to see what’ll happen with the rest of my day.

It’s confusing to be put on a new psych med, antibiotics & thyroid medicine all within a few days of each other, definitely not ideal, because you don’t know which medicine is causing which symptoms.

I left a message for my doctor explaining the situation a bit and he will probably call me back in a few hours. The ER didn’t take a list of my current medications (which seems really crazy to me) and I’m worried the antibiotics might be having an interaction with one of my other medications so I want to ask my psychiatrist about it.


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